Here’s just a little bit of what I’ve been eating- (I eat a lot.) I’m too busy to work much on both the blogs and work, so here’s lots of posts in one. In the last month or so, I’ve been eating a ton of greens, nuts and seeds, sprouted grains and sushi as a treat. I’ve been working out as much as I can, so when I’m really hungry, I really eat. I’m making an effort to stay hydrated and not eat late at night, but sometimes, I just decide it’s not the worst thing I could be eating if I want a banana at midnight still. Baby steps. I think the key to my continued and consistent success will hinge on my gentleness and forgiveness for myself. So If I want it, I have it. And that has included indulging in two tacos al pastor with chips and salsa, one godiva neapolitan truffle, and some late-night (but healthy) snacks. And I feel that by giving myself a choice, I make it easier to make the right choice, rather than just saying no to everything right away- sooner or later you hit a stressful time and suddenly feel deprived and get bad carb-crazy. This week has been a struggle in that department, I’m not going to lie. I’ve been feeling anxious and stressed and I spent some time in the “healthy” chip and cracker and goodie section of Sprouts this week, twice in fact. I’ve managed to tear myself away both times, hands empty and head to a better aisle. But sometimes when I’m stressed, it just seems like a bag of veggie booty and cheddar bunnies will make everything all better. It’s mental and I’m coming to realize that, so I talk myself through. Kind of sad to feel like a drug addict, but really we all get addicted to food and have to consciously make a decision to NOT use it as a way to soothe our stress. I’m focused on food choices, and portion sizes are flexible but getting smaller as I become more mindful naturally.
I also broke away from my stint of addiction to xenadrine. I want to have extra energy at work, but that’s not the way I want to do it. I don’t want to be addicted to food, or coffee or anything else, so why an I taking them? They made me feel great, made my mind go a little faster like caffeine does… but when I stopped taking them- I wasn’t even thinking about it, I just had a day off and didn’t take one- I went out with friends to a bar to watch some football and could not stop yawning! It took me a minute to figure it out- no xenadrine this morning, ugh. Then that night and the next- big headaches. So obviously I was addicted if I went through such clear withdrawals. It took me a couple days of headaches and a good week of stuttering like a dyslexic dork at work, but now I’m feeling rebalanced, super energetic, fueled by fresh juices, vegetables, fruits and lots of water.
This morning I was still feeling stressed so I started to dance & jump rope to work out, but felt like it wasn’t working. Then I tried some yoga instead, but decided I didn’t want to do that either. Then tonight after work I went to our apartment complex gym to attempt running. I know it’s the last frontier, the thing that will challenge me and get results if I can just do it. It will also be a new goal- I want to run the Bolder Boulder 10k next year. I’m not a runner, but maybe I just need to get over it and stop saying I’m not and become one. So tonight I jumped on the treadmill and ran as long as I could and I lasted about 15 minutes running fast. More than I thought I could. At that point it felt like my sports bra was going to suffocate me my chest was so tight, so I walked about 5 minutes. Then I ran again for the rest of 30 minutes! I was pretty happy with my starting point. Plus! I felt great, I really got in the zone and felt my focus returning, my cares were not in the periphery always nagging, but fading, disappearing. Maybe there could be something to this for me!! We’ll see. Ok, back to the food.